Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Why My Yellow Dog Winks

Sorry, she doesn't wink on command.
First off, she's not really yellow. She is a yellow lab who is real-butter pale. But she does wink, and it appears to be deliberate.

Reasons she winks
  1. Cagney is the reincarnation of my dad who was a winker. Sure, I have proof. When she is very happy, she sways side to side when she does her hurried, happy walk. So did my dad. Over time, I came to grow on her. Same with my dad. By the time I was an adult, he was pretty pleased he was my father. Cagney decided I belonged to her when she turned five. She does not take instruction well. He was a died-in-the-wool dedicated self-teacher. She looks at me like she knows everything, and I'm just catching up. Yeah, she's my dad.
  2. First day she came home, she was nine weeks old. We were teaching her to wait on the rug by the door while her feet dried. I said, "Stay. I'll let you off when your feet are dry." She winked ("I got this"). She was house trained in three weeks.
  3. Today, I let her in. "All you have to do is sit there for one minute (I raised my index finger). Just one minute." She winked.
  4. I tell a joke to my daughter, turn to Cagney and she winks. She got the joke. 
  5. There is a tiny puddle of clear water on the floor. I ask Cagney and Lacey (chocolate lab),"Who drank too much water out of the water bowl?" Cagney winks. Yeah, she's so funny. She's not cleaning it up.
  6. It's late, I've been furiously writing. Cagney is half on her bed and half off. She looks like she's so tired she couldn't get on the bed all the way. I say, "So who's ready for bed?" She winks. She thinks I'm so funny.
  7. She sneaks off the backdoor rug leaving four muddy prints before I catch her. "Now I have to wash the floor." She winks. I look around. The whole floor could use a mopping.
  8. She's been out recently but is giving me the squint eye. "You want to go out?" She winks. "Aw, not a necessity, a desire." She plays tennis-ball keep-away with Lacey until they are both so overheated they can barely walk three steps without laying down. "You ready to come in?" She has just enough energy to wink.
  9. Our two dogs are laying in their usual yin yang formation. They're facing each other. Lacey is intently staring at Cagney, both sets of ears are perked forward. Cagney winks. Lacey leaps into the air and attacks Cagney's pale white throat. Lacey's lips are drawn tightly over her teeth. My pale yellow dog rolls over while being mauled and looks at me. Yup, then she winks.

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